|Also Known As||Steven Eugene Carlsberg|
|First Mentioned||The Drawbridge|
|Occupation||Unknown; secretary of the Night Vale PTA|
Cecil Gershwin Palmer (brother-in-law)
|Known Physical Features||Unknown|
|Voice Actor(s)||Hal Lublin|
|First Heard||The Debate|
Steve and Cecil have to put up with each other both personally and professionally, as Steve is a member of the Night Vale PTA (currently serving as the organization's secretary), and takes a lot of interest in politics and current events. He sometimes refers Cecil as either his stepbrother or his brother-in-law; because he is married to Cecil's sister and is the stepfather to Cecil's niece Janice, "brother-in-law" is likely correct. According to Cecil, Steve's one good quality is his devotion to Janice, and that's why sometimes, just sometimes, Cecil can find it in his heart to tolerate him.
List of offensesEdit
In reality, the offenses of Steve Carlsberg are probably too numerous to compile into a list. However, there follow a few of his gravest indecencies:
- He never changes the hubcaps on his tan Toyota Corolla. It's laziness, pure and simple.
- He brings unacceptably dry scones to PTA meetings, and, as the PTA meeting secretary, his notes are grammatically disastrous.
- He gambles on sports, is inattentive to the extracurricular activities of his stepdaughter, and has idiotic taste in shoes.
- He does terrible, annoying impressions.
- His impression of Carlos sounds like a Munchkin from The Wizard of Oz.
- He once accused Carlos of being a secret operative. (Not that that wouldn't be awesome.)
- He thinks the light of the Smiling God is "very pretty" and admits to being impressed by how much he got done at the StrexCorp Company Picnic.
- He simply cannot bowl, and cost the local bowling team a competition against the Desert Bluffs team.
- He put up t-shirts of Carlos and Cecil looking up at the lights in front of the Arby's onto windows.
- He thinks Kevin is a nice fellow.
- He keeps barging into Cecil's radio studio to give him useless information that no one cares about.
- It has been suggested he gambles. Gross.
- TERRIBLE taste in shoes.
- He probably even gets his hair cut at Telly's.
- Steve Carlsberg. Ugh.
Steve sometimes shares his political opinions with Night Vale Community Radio, corresponding anonymously, emailing, and even stopping by the station to talk to Cecil. While his opinions may appear to be reasonable, and perhaps may even appear to be the only sane opinions held by any living person in Night Vale, Steve Carlsberg is, in truth, a huge jerk with absolutely no sense of civic pride or duty. The weirdos in Desert Bluffs seem to respect him, and you know what, maybe that is where a jerk like Steve Carlsberg belongs.
Steve Carlsberg is a frequent critic of Night Vale's City Council and an unapologetic spoilsport. He was the only resident of Night Vale opposed to the construction of the Drawbridge, arguing that, "We don't even have a river or bay in Night Vale. There would never be a boat to necessitate a drawbridge!" Way to be a killjoy, Steve. What an absolute jerk!
During the sandstorm that ushered an army of malevolent doppelgangers into the towns of Night Vale and Desert Bluffs in 2013, Steve Carlsberg blamed the government, writing, "The sandstorm is clearly a coverup. I believe this was a government-created project. Our government has long been participating in cloud-seeding experiments, and trying to suppress the people with pharmaceuticals." Cecil justly put Steve in his place, explaining that, without the government, "We would never have schools or roads or municipal utilities or helpful pandemics or black vans that roam our neighborhoods at night, keeping us safe." I mean, honestly, where does Steve come up with this stuff? It's like he hasn't even read the Constitution. Of course, when those weirdos from Desert Bluffs received the same email, their radio announcer, Kevin, claimed that he had "hit the nail on the head", and even called Steve a "great guy." You can keep him, Desert Bluffs.
The source of these opinions is apparently that Steve can see "glowing arrows in the sky, dotted lines and circles" that explain to him how everything is connected. His conflicts with Cecil in fact started when, after an initially friendly chat over some of Steve's scones (which Cecil at first seemed to indicated were in fact great) that Steve kept trying to explain about the agents of a Vague, Yet Menacing, Government Agency at the wedding, which thanks to the signs, Steve apparently is fully aware of what the agency is and their command structure.. Cecil got incredibly enraged about his constant mention of forbidden knowledge, and Steve's desire to share that message, above all else, with Janice.
Steve Carlsberg's antagonism towards the City Council and general rabble-rousing has made him a person of interest to the Sheriff's Secret Police. On August 29, 2012, Steve was whisked into a windowless van. He wasn't seen again until the morning of September 1, 2012, when he was observed wearing thick head bandages and eating Styrofoam shaped like an ice cream cone.
Later, as war with the underground city loomed, the authorities suspected that the inhabitants of the underground city had an informant among the citizens of Night Vale. Cecil immediately suspected Steve Carlsberg, infamous for his lack of civic pride, and suggested on the air that a group of citizen vigilantes should go have a "chat" with Steve to find out just what he had been saying, and to whom.
- Janice (stepdaughter): Steve adores his little girl and takes an active interest in her education.
- Cecil (probably brother-in-law): Steve is friendly and affectionate toward Cecil. The sentiment is not mutual. Steve refers to Cecil variously as his brother-in-law, his stepbrother, his brother-outside-of-the-law, his half-brother, and his double-brother, but he admits to getting those terms mixed up. He claims to have met Cecil on the day of his wedding to Cecil's sister. Steve and Cecil share a love of seeing clowns cry.  During the Thrilling Adventure Hour cross-over, Steve revealed that he considers Cecil to be his best friend.
- Abby (wife): Steve is married to Cecil's sister Abby.
- Probably a Scorpio; Cecil changes a horoscope to insults, similar to insults Steve would receive from him. 'The Librarian' tour further indicates this, as the horoscope for Scorpio curses Steve outright. However a previous horoscope read by Cecil cursed Scorpios' families and specifically their children, something Cecil might not wish upon Janice, though perhaps, as his step-daughter, Cecil considers her exempt.
- His middle name has been revealed to be "Eugene" as of the October 1st release of The Thrilling Adventure Hour-Welcome to Nightvale Crossover Show
Behind the scenesEdit
Steve Carlsberg is voiced by Hal Lublin, a voice actor, comedian, and writer, best known for his work on The Thrilling Adventure Hour. He first voiced Steve in the live stage shows, the first being The Debate, which was released on April 30, 2014, but has since appeared in podcast episodes such as Old Oak Doors (a recording of a live show) and The September Monologues.
- ↑ Spelling of Carlsberg found here and here.
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 Episode 8 The Lights in Radon Canyon
- ↑ The Librarian
- ↑ Episode 64 WE MUST GIVE PRAISE
- ↑ 5.00 5.01 5.02 5.03 5.04 5.05 5.06 5.07 5.08 5.09 5.10 Episode 49B Old Oak Doors Part B
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 6.2 Episode 53 The September Monologues
- ↑ 7.0 7.1 Episode 44 Cookies
- ↑ 8.0 8.1 8.2 8.3 8.4 8.5 Episode 6 The Drawbridge
- ↑ 9.0 9.1 9.2 Episode 19B The Sandstorm (Part B)
- ↑ Episode 19A The Sandstorm (Part A)
- ↑ Episode 14 The Man in the Tan Jacket
- ↑ Episode 51 Rumbling