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Steve Carlsberg

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Steve Carlsberg is a resident of Night Vale who sometimes emails his opinions on local politics to Night Vale Community Radio, and radio host Cecil Palmer knows that Steve is just the worst guy there is. While his opinions may appear to be reasonable, and perhaps may even appear to be the only sane opinions held by any living person in Night Vale, Steve Carlsburg is, in truth, a huge jerk and a spoilsport with absolutely no sense of civic pride or duty, and he is even too lazy to replace the hubcaps on his Toyota Corolla.[1] The weirdos in Desert Bluffs seem to respect him, and you know what, maybe that is where a jerk like Steve Carlsberg belongs.[2] Unfortunately, Cecil has to deal with Steve, that unbearable jerk, both professionally and personally, as Steve is a member of the Night Vale PTA and is apparently Cecil's brother-in-law and the stepfather to Cecil's niece, Janice, assuming that Janice actually exists and is not merely an alias for Tamika Flynn.[3][4]

Litany of offensesEdit

In reality, the offenses of Steve Carlsberg are probably too numerous to practically compile into a list. However, the following is a list of a few of his gravest offenses against public decency:

  • He never changes the hubcaps on his tan Toyota Corolla. It's laziness, pure and simple.[1]
  • He brings unacceptably dry scones to PTA meetings, and, as the PTA meeting secretary, his notes are grammatically disastrous.[3]
  • He gambles on sports, is inattentive to the extracurricular activities of his stepdaughter, and has idiotic taste in shoes.[4]

Political opinionsEdit

Steve Carlsberg is a frequent critic of Night Vale's City Council and an unapologetic spoilsport. He was the only resident of Night Vale opposed to the construction of the Drawbridge, arguing that, "We don't even have a river or bay in Night Vale. There would never be a boat to necessitate a drawbridge!"[1] Way to be a killjoy, Steve. What an absolute jerk!

During the sandstorm that ushered an army of malevolent doppelgangers into the towns of Night Vale and Desert Bluffs in 2013, Steve Carlsberg blamed the government, writing, "The sandstorm is clearly a coverup. I believe this was a government-created project. Our government has long been participating in cloud-seeding experiments, and trying to suppress the people with pharmaceuticals."[5] Cecil justly put Steve in his place, explaining that, without the government, "We would never have schools or roads or municipal utilities or helpful pandemics or black vans that roam our neighborhoods at night, keeping us safe." I mean, honestly, where does Steve come up with this stuff? It's like he hasn't even read the Constitution. Of course, when those weirdos from Desert Bluffs received the same email, their radio announcer, Kevin, claimed that he had "hit the nail on the head", and even called Steve a "great guy".[2] You can keep him, Desert Bluffs.

Trouble with the authoritiesEdit

Steve Carlsberg's antagonism towards the City Council and general rabble-rousing has made him a person of interest to the Sheriff's Secret Police. On August 29, 2012, Steve was whisked into a windowless van. He wasn't seen again until the morning of September 1, 2012, when he was observed wearing thick head bandages and eating Styrofoam shaped like an ice cream cone.[1]

Later, as war with the underground city loomed, the authorities suspected that the inhabitants of the underground city had an informant among the citizens of Night Vale. Cecil immediately suspected Steve Carlsberg, infamous for his lack of civic pride, and suggested on the air that a group of citizen vigilantes should go have a "chat" with Steve to find out just what he had been saying, and to whom.[6]

Behind the scenesEdit

Hal Lublin, voice of Steve Carlsberg with Cecil Baldwin, the voice of Steve Palmer.
CeicilpalmerAdded by Ceicilpalmer

Steve Carlsberg is voiced by Hal Lublin, a voice actor, comedian, and writer, best known for his work on The Thrilling Adventure Hour. He has appeared in several live stage shows so far but has not yet been released on the podcast.


  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 6 - The Drawbridge at [1]
  2. 2.0 2.1 19B - The Sandstorm (Part B) at [2]
  3. 3.0 3.1 8 - The Lights in Radon Canyon at [3]
  4. 4.0 4.1 44 - Cookies at [4]
  5. 19A - The Sandstorm (Part A) at [5]
  6. 14 - The Man in the Tan Jacket at [6]
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