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Steve Carlsberg

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Steve Carlsberg[1] is a resident of Night Vale. Cecil Palmer considers Steve to be just about the worst guy there is.

Cecil has to put up with Steve both professionally and personally. Steve is a member of the Night Vale PTA, he takes a lot of interest in politics and current events, he sometimes refers Cecil as either his stepbrother[2] or his brother-in-law,[3] and he is stepfather to Cecil's niece, Janice.[2][4] Steve's one good quality is his devotion to Janice, and that's why sometimes, just sometimes, Cecil can find it in his heart to tolerate him.[2]

Litany of offensesEdit

In reality, the offenses of Steve Carlsberg are probably too numerous to compile into a list. However, there follow a few of his gravest indecencies:

  • He never changes the hubcaps on his tan Toyota Corolla. It's laziness, pure and simple.[5]
  • He brings unacceptably dry scones to PTA meetings, and, as the PTA meeting secretary, his notes are grammatically disastrous.[6]
  • He gambles on sports, is inattentive to the extracurricular activities of his stepdaughter, and has idiotic taste in shoes.[4]
  • He does terrible, annoying impressions.[2]
  • His impression of Carlos sounds like a Munchkin from The Wizard of Oz.[2]
  • He once accused Carlos of being a secret operative. (Not that that wouldn't be awesome.)[2]
  • He thinks the light of the Smiling God is "very pretty" and admits to being impressed by how much he got done at the StrexCorp Company Picnic.[2]

Political opinionsEdit

Steve sometimes shares his political opinions with Night Vale Community Radio, corresponding anonymously,[5] emailing,[7] and even stopping by the station to talk to Cecil.[2] While his opinions may appear to be reasonable, and perhaps may even appear to be the only sane opinions held by any living person in Night Vale, Steve Carlsberg is, in truth, a huge jerk with absolutely no sense of civic pride or duty.[5] The weirdos in Desert Bluffs seem to respect him, and you know what, maybe that is where a jerk like Steve Carlsberg belongs.[7]

Steve Carlsberg is a frequent critic of Night Vale's City Council and an unapologetic spoilsport. He was the only resident of Night Vale opposed to the construction of the Drawbridge, arguing that, "We don't even have a river or bay in Night Vale. There would never be a boat to necessitate a drawbridge!"[5] Way to be a killjoy, Steve. What an absolute jerk!

During the sandstorm that ushered an army of malevolent doppelgangers into the towns of Night Vale and Desert Bluffs in 2013, Steve Carlsberg blamed the government, writing, "The sandstorm is clearly a coverup. I believe this was a government-created project. Our government has long been participating in cloud-seeding experiments, and trying to suppress the people with pharmaceuticals."[8] Cecil justly put Steve in his place, explaining that, without the government, "We would never have schools or roads or municipal utilities or helpful pandemics or black vans that roam our neighborhoods at night, keeping us safe." I mean, honestly, where does Steve come up with this stuff? It's like he hasn't even read the Constitution. Of course, when those weirdos from Desert Bluffs received the same email, their radio announcer, Kevin, claimed that he had "hit the nail on the head", and even called Steve a "great guy."[7] You can keep him, Desert Bluffs.

The source of these opinions is apparently that Steve can see "glowing arrows in the sky, dotted lines and circles" that explain to him how everything is connected. His conflicts with Cecil in fact started when, after an initially friendly chat over some of Steve's scones (which Cecil at first seemed to indicated were in fact great) that Steve kept trying to explain about the agents of a Vague, Yet Menacing, Government Agency at the wedding, which thanks to the signs, Steve apparently is fully aware of what the agency is and their command structure.. Cecil got incredibly enraged about his constant mention of forbidden knowledge, and Steve's desire to share that message, above all else, with Janice.[3]

Trouble with the authoritiesEdit

Steve Carlsberg's antagonism towards the City Council and general rabble-rousing has made him a person of interest to the Sheriff's Secret Police. On August 29, 2012, Steve was whisked into a windowless van. He wasn't seen again until the morning of September 1, 2012, when he was observed wearing thick head bandages and eating Styrofoam shaped like an ice cream cone.[5]

Later, as war with the underground city loomed, the authorities suspected that the inhabitants of the underground city had an informant among the citizens of Night Vale. Cecil immediately suspected Steve Carlsberg, infamous for his lack of civic pride, and suggested on the air that a group of citizen vigilantes should go have a "chat" with Steve to find out just what he had been saying, and to whom.[9]

RelationshipsEdit

  • Janice (stepdaughter): Steve adores his little girl and takes an active interest in her education.[2]
  • Cecil (probably brother-in-law): Steve is friendly and affectionate toward Cecil. The sentiment is not mutual.[2] Steve refers to Cecil variously as his brother-in-law, his stepbrother,[2] his brother-outside-of-the-law, his half-brother, and his double-brother, but he admits to getting those terms mixed up. He claims to have met Cecil on the day of his wedding to Cecil's sister.[3] During the Thrilling Adventure Hour cross-over, Steve revealed that he considers Cecil to be his best friend.

TriviaEdit

  • Probably a Scorpio; Cecil changes a horoscope to insults, similar to insults Steve would receive from him.[10] 'The Librarian' tour further indicates this, as the horoscope for Scorpio curses Steve outright. However a previous horoscope read by Cecil cursed Scorpio's family and specifically their children,[5] something Cecil might not wish upon Janice.
  • His middle name has been revealed to be "Eugene" as of the October 1st release of The Thrilling Adventure Hour-Welcome to Nightvale Crossover Show

Behind the scenesEdit

Steve

Hal Lublin, voice of Steve Carlsberg with Cecil Baldwin, the voice of Cecil Palmer.

Steve Carlsberg is voiced by Hal Lublin, a voice actor, comedian, and writer, best known for his work on The Thrilling Adventure Hour. He first voiced Steve in the live stage shows, the first being The Debate, which was released on April 30, 2014, but has since appeared in podcast episodes such as Old Oak Doors (a recording of a live show) and The September Monologues.

ReferencesEdit

  1. Spelling of Carlsberg found here and here.
  2. 2.00 2.01 2.02 2.03 2.04 2.05 2.06 2.07 2.08 2.09 2.10 49B - Old Oak Doors Part B at [1]
  3. 3.0 3.1 3.2 53 - The September Monologues at [2]
  4. 4.0 4.1 44 - Cookies at [3]
  5. 5.0 5.1 5.2 5.3 5.4 5.5 6 - The Drawbridge at [4]
  6. 8 - The Lights in Radon Canyon at [5]
  7. 7.0 7.1 7.2 19B - The Sandstorm (Part B) at [6]
  8. 19A - The Sandstorm (Part A) at [7]
  9. 14 - The Man in the Tan Jacket at [8]
  10. 51 - Rumbling at [9]

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