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Steve Carlsberg

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Steve Carlsberg[1] is a resident of Night Vale. Cecil Palmer considers Steve to be just about the worst guy there is.

Cecil has to put up with Steve both professionally and personally. Steve is a member of the Night Vale PTA, he takes a lot of interest in politics and current events, he's implied Cecil is his stepbrother,[2] and he is stepfather to Cecil's niece, Janice.[2][3] Steve's one good quality is his devotion to Janice, and that's why sometimes, just sometimes, Cecil can find it in his heart to tolerate him.[2]

Litany of offensesEdit

In reality, the offenses of Steve Carlsberg are probably too numerous to compile into a list. However, there follow a few of his gravest indecencies:

  • He never changes the hubcaps on his tan Toyota Corolla. It's laziness, pure and simple.[4]
  • He brings unacceptably dry scones to PTA meetings, and, as the PTA meeting secretary, his notes are grammatically disastrous.[5]
  • He gambles on sports, is inattentive to the extracurricular activities of his stepdaughter, and has idiotic taste in shoes.[3]
  • He does impressions.[2]
  • His impression of Carlos sounds like a Munchkin from The Wizard of Oz.[2]
  • He once accused Carlos of being a secret operative. (Not that that wouldn't be awesome.)[2]
  • He thinks the light of the Smiling God is "very pretty" and admits to being impressed by how much he got done at the StrexCorp Company Picnic.[2]

Political opinionsEdit

Steve sometimes shares his political opinions with Night Vale Community Radio, corresponding anonymously,[4] emailing,[6] and even stopping by the station to talk to Cecil.[2] While his opinions may appear to be reasonable, and perhaps may even appear to be the only sane opinions held by any living person in Night Vale, Steve Carlsburg is, in truth, a huge jerk with absolutely no sense of civic pride or duty.[4] The weirdos in Desert Bluffs seem to respect him, and you know what, maybe that is where a jerk like Steve Carlsberg belongs.[6]

Steve Carlsberg is a frequent critic of Night Vale's City Council and an unapologetic spoilsport. He was the only resident of Night Vale opposed to the construction of the Drawbridge, arguing that, "We don't even have a river or bay in Night Vale. There would never be a boat to necessitate a drawbridge!"[4] Way to be a killjoy, Steve. What an absolute jerk!

During the sandstorm that ushered an army of malevolent doppelgangers into the towns of Night Vale and Desert Bluffs in 2013, Steve Carlsberg blamed the government, writing, "The sandstorm is clearly a coverup. I believe this was a government-created project. Our government has long been participating in cloud-seeding experiments, and trying to suppress the people with pharmaceuticals."[7] Cecil justly put Steve in his place, explaining that, without the government, "We would never have schools or roads or municipal utilities or helpful pandemics or black vans that roam our neighborhoods at night, keeping us safe." I mean, honestly, where does Steve come up with this stuff? It's like he hasn't even read the Constitution. Of course, when those weirdos from Desert Bluffs received the same email, their radio announcer, Kevin, claimed that he had "hit the nail on the head", and even called Steve a "great guy."[6] You can keep him, Desert Bluffs.

Trouble with the authoritiesEdit

Steve Carlsberg's antagonism towards the City Council and general rabble-rousing has made him a person of interest to the Sheriff's Secret Police. On August 29, 2012, Steve was whisked into a windowless van. He wasn't seen again until the morning of September 1, 2012, when he was observed wearing thick head bandages and eating Styrofoam shaped like an ice cream cone.[4]

Later, as war with the underground city loomed, the authorities suspected that the inhabitants of the underground city had an informant among the citizens of Night Vale. Cecil immediately suspected Steve Carlsberg, infamous for his lack of civic pride, and suggested on the air that a group of citizen vigilantes should go have a "chat" with Steve to find out just what he had been saying, and to whom.[8]

RelationshipsEdit

  • Janice (stepdaughter): Steve adores his little girl and takes an active interest in her education.[2]
  • Cecil (stepbrother[2]): Steve is friendly and affectionate toward Cecil. The sentiment is not mutual.[2]For Steve Carlsberg to be Cecil's stepbrother, as well as Janice's stepfather, one of Cecil's parents would have had to remarry someone who was a parent to Steve Carlsberg, making him a stepbrother. Then Steve would have had to marry Janice's mother in order to be Janice's stepfather.

Behind the scenesEdit

Steve

Hal Lublin, voice of Steve Carlsberg with Cecil Baldwin, the voice of Cecil Palmer.

Steve Carlsberg is voiced by Hal Lublin, a voice actor, comedian, and writer, best known for his work on The Thrilling Adventure Hour. He has appeared in several live stage shows, the first being The Debate, which was released on April 30, 2014.

ReferencesEdit

  1. Spelling of Carlsberg found here and here.
  2. 2.00 2.01 2.02 2.03 2.04 2.05 2.06 2.07 2.08 2.09 2.10 49B - Old Oak Doors Part B
  3. 3.0 3.1 44 - Cookies at [1]
  4. 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4 6 - The Drawbridge at [2]
  5. 8 - The Lights in Radon Canyon at [3]
  6. 6.0 6.1 6.2 19B - The Sandstorm (Part B) at [4]
  7. 19A - The Sandstorm (Part A) at [5]
  8. 14 - The Man in the Tan Jacket at [6]

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