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Route 800 is the only highway to or from Night Vale.[1] It passes through and connects Night Vale and Desert Bluffs.[2][3] It also passes through the Scrublands, a desolate desert region on the outskirts of Night Vale.[4] Scenic-minded motorists may enjoy Route 800's many otherworldly spindly creatures, large iridescent tongues, and anti-authoritarian art installations used in lieu of traditional highway safety features.[4][5][6]

Features Edit

Route 800 is equipped with many state-of-the-art highway features to maximize the safety and efficiency of its motorists. The Department of Public Safety has replaced the road's typical, drab highway markings of dashed white and double yellow lines with colorful mosaic depictions of South American socialist uprisings. The protective steel barricades have been also been replaced by the DPS, in this case with lovely cut-paper silhouettes depicting American slavery-era self-mutilation, designed by contemporary art darling Kara Walker.[6] The southbound HOV lanes of Route 800, near Exit 15, feature large, glowing arrows that commuters are encouraged to drive over for a speed boost, saving them both time and gas.[7] Finally, as with all roads in Night Vale, all of Route 800's road signs that fall within Night Vale's jurisdiction have been replaced with traffic cops waving semaphore flags.[6]

Unfortunately, Route 800, like so many modern American highways, is also beset by serious, unaddressed maintenance issues. In particular, the large, iridescent tongues the highway has been growing since at least 2013 have lead some Night Vale residents to advocate mass transit as an alternative to driving.[5]

Geography Edit

Route 800 is a desert highway that connects the rival towns of Night Vale and Desert Bluffs, although it is not known to connect to any other towns in the outside world.It is not even entirely clear whether or not it is even possible to leave the Night Vale/Desert Bluffs region by any comprehensible geographical route available to mortal humans. Although Night Vale is often described as being a relatively small town, the General Night Vale Area seems to encompass Route 800 from Exit 4 all the way to Exit 17, and possibly even as far as Exit 64 or even Exit 84B.[2][6][8][9][10] However, little can be surmised from this, as, given the unpredictable and often incomprehensible nature of geography in Night Vale, it seems entirely possible that Route 800, like Night Vale itself, occasionally fails to obey the simple laws of geography or Euclidean geometry.

Landmarks Edit

Buildings Edit

Known exits Edit

  • Exit 4 - Night Vale - An 18-wheeler was jackknifed near Exit 4.[12]
  • Exit 6 - Night Vale - Several cars stalled near Exit 6 during the sandstorm of March 2013, and the drivers and passengers of the vehicles engaged in combat with the malevolent doppelgangers the sandstorm ushered into Night Vale.[2]
  • Exits 10-13 - Night Vale - Cecil suggests avoiding travel there while unarmed.[13]
  • Exits 15-17 - Night Vale - These three exits are shut down during Night Vale's biennial Lee Marvin Film Retrospective.[6]
  • Exit 66 - Desert Bluffs - Several cars stalled near exit 66 during the sandstorm of March 2013, and drivers and passengers of the vehicles engaged in combat with the malevolent doppelgangers the sandstorm ushered into Desert Bluffs.[3][8]
  • Exit 84B - ? - Cecil reports on "a fender bender".[10]

Other possible exits Edit

  • Exit 64 - Night Vale - Night Vale's Six Flags Desert Springs is located just off Exit 64.[9]

Intersections Edit

Trivia Edit

  • The United States has several highways named Route 800; however, none of them are located in the American Southwest, where Night Vale and Desert Bluffs are said to be located.
  • Kara Walker, the contemporary artist named as the designer of Route 800's butcher-paper silhouettes, is a real-life artist who does, indeed, produce controversial, nightmarish depictions of slavery-era sex and violence in the medium of cut-paper silhouettes.

References Edit

  1. The Debate
  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 Episode 19A The Sandstorm (Part A)
  3. 3.0 3.1 Episode 19B The Sandstorm (Part B)
  4. 4.0 4.1 Episode 39 The Woman from Italy
  5. 5.0 5.1 Episode 30 Subway
  6. 6.0 6.1 6.2 6.3 6.4 Episode 7 History Week
  7. Episode 15 Street Cleaning Day
  8. 8.0 8.1 Episode 23 Eternal Scouts
  9. 9.0 9.1 No highway is specified in the Six Flags sponsored ad, but Route 800 is the only known highway with numbered exits in the Night Vale area. However, given that the Eastern Expressway has access ramps, it seems likely that it has numbered exits as well.
  10. 10.0 10.1 Episode 57 The List
  11. Episode 1 Pilot
  12. Episode 68 Faceless Old Women
  13. Thrilling Adventure Hour & Welcome to Night Vale Crossover
  14. Welcome to Night Vale: A Novel
  15. Episode 6 The Drawbridge
  16. Episode 72 Well of Night

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