|Episode No.||Title||Release Date|
|1||Pilot||15 June 2012|
|Look to the north. Keep looking. There's nothing coming from the south.|
|2||Glow Cloud||1 July 2012|
Men are from Mars; women are from Venus; Earth is a hallucination; podcasts are dreams.
|3||Station Management||15 July 2012|
|There's a special place in Hell. It's really hip. Very exclusive.|
|4||PTA Meeting||1 August 2012|
|What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening? I don’t know, but I trapped it in my bedroom. Send help.|
|5||The Shape in Grove Park||15 August 2012|
|A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A basilisk.|
|6||The Drawbridge||1 September 2012|
|Lost? Confused? Lacking direction? Need to find a purpose in your life?|
|7||History Week||15 September 2012|
|It must be 3:23 PM somewhere. Maybe space?|
|8||The Lights in Radon Canyon||1 October 2012|
|We are living in an immaterial world, a ghost world, and I am an immaterial girl - a ghost.|
|9||"PYRAMID"||15 October 2012|
|"Nice bolo tie," is the greatest compliment a person can ever receive.|
|10||Feral Dogs||1 November 2012|
|Eating meat is a difficult moral decision, because it's stolen, that meat. You should apologise.|
|11||Wheat & Wheat By-Products||14 November 2012|
|Today is the last day of your life up to this point.|
|12||The Candidate||1 December 2012|
|Does the carpet match the drapes? No, it doesn’t. You’re the worst interior decorator. Please leave my home.|
|13||A Story About You.||15 December 2012|
|I’d never join a PEN15 club that would allow a person like me to become a member.|
|14||The Man in the Tan Jacket||1 January 2013|
|Biologically speaking, we are all people made up of smaller people.|
|15||Street Cleaning Day||15 January 2013|
|One incorporeal being said to the other, “I’m not here too! Make friends?"|
|16||The Phone Call||1 February 2013|
|If I said you had a beautiful body, would it even matter because we are so insignificant in this vast incomprehensible universe?|
|17||Valentine||15 February 2013|
|Werner Herzog is the most interesting person.|
|18||The Traveler||1 March 2013|
|Find more ways to work ‘plinth’ into daily conversations.|
|19A||The Sandstorm (Part A)||15 March 2013|
|19B||The Sandstorm (Part B)||15 March 2013|
This is how to be happy.
|20||Poetry Week||1 April 2013|
|Pain is just weakness leaving the body, and then being replaced by pain. Lots of pain.|
|21||A Memory of Europe||15 April 2013|
|Ask your doctor if right is left for you.|
|22||The Whispering Forest||1 May 2013|
|If you love someone, set them free. Set them free now. This is the police, and we have you surrounded.|
|23||Eternal Scouts||15 May 2013|
|Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys. Show them pictures of cows when they’re young and administer brief electrical shocks.|
|24||The Mayor||1 June 2013|
|The most dangerous game is man. The most entertaining game is Broadway Puppy Ball. The most weird game is Esoteric Bear.|
|25||One Year Later||15 June 2013|
|Fun game. Say "toy boat" over and over. Do it for the rest of your life. Retreat from society and live on alms. Whisper "toy boat' as you die.|
|26||Faceless Old Woman||1 July 2013|
|The human soul weighs 21 grams, smells like grilled vegetables, looks like a wrinkled tartan quilt, and sounds like bridge traffic.|
|27||First Date||15 July 2013|
|Production oversight by Tory Malatea, who is holding a small locket. He is not speaking. He’d just like for you to touch the locket. His hand is twisted. His skin is forming into scales. Just touch it once. Just once, okay?|
|28||Summer Reading Program||1 August 2013|
|A bar walks into a bar. The bartender is a snake eating its own tail. The windows look out only onto the face of the one who looks.|
|29||Subway||15 August 2013|
|Your body is a temple. A temple of blood rituals and pagan tributes, a lost temple, a temple that needs more calcium. You should maybe try vitamin supplements.|
|30||Dana||1 September 2013|
|Look to the sky. You will not find answers there, but you will certainly see what everyone is screaming about.|
|31||A Blinking Light up on the Mountain||15 September 2013|
Throw your hands in the air. Now your arms. Keep detaching limbs and throwing them in the air. Hopefully, the birds will be sated and leave.
|32||Yellow Helicopters||1 October 2013|
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never quite describe the pain.
|33||Cassette||15 October 2013|
You can lead a horse to water, and you can lead a horse into water, and you can swim around with the horse and have fun.
|34||A Beautiful Dream||1 November 2013|
Thank you for your interest in a life free of pain. We're not accepting applications at this time. Please try again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.
|35||Lazy Day||15 November 2013|
On this day in history: mundanity, and terror, and food, and love, and trees.
|36||Missing||1 December 2013|
Look. Up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. No. It's just the void. Infinite and indifferent. We're so small. So very very small.
|37||The Auction||15 December 2013|
Listen. I'm not a hero. The real heroes are the people that point out to us when protesters have smartphones, thus invalidating all concerns.
|38||Orange Grove||1 January 2014|
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single command from a satellite-activated mind control chip.
|39||The Woman from Italy||15 January 2014|
Your Bitcoin address is your middle name, followed by the name of your first pet and the first street you lived on.
|40||The Deft Bowman||1 February 2014|
You can’t get blood from a turnip. Listen, you need some blood? I can totally get you some blood. Set that turnip down and follow me to the blood. There’s a lot of blood.
|41||WALK||15 February 2014|
Please move your brain so we can get to the drugs. And stop leaving it there. We've talked about this.
|42||Numbers||1 March 2014|
Ignore all the haters telling you that everything isn't a sandwich. Everything is a sandwich.
|43||Visitor||15 March 2014|
You won't sleep when you're dead, either.
|44||Cookies||1 April 2014|
At your smallest components, you are indistinguishable from a forest fire.
|45||A Story About Them||15 April 2014|
Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say your mother's in the hospital. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Listen. I'll drive you over there. We'll leave right now. Grab a coat; it's a little cold out. I'm so sorry.
|46||Parade Day||1 May 2014|
If you love something, set it free. If it starts flying around and chirping, it was probably a bird.
|47||Company Picnic||15 May 2014|
There's a difference between you're, your, and yarn. Yarn isn't even pronounced the same way. It's a completely different word.
|48||Renovations||1 June 2014|
Feeling lost? Like you have no goal in life? Like you're covered in dirt and wet leaves? Like you're an earthworm? Are you an earthworm? Kinda sounds like you're an earthworm, actually.