John Peters--you know, the farmer, is one of Night Vale's most well-known agriculturalists and a frequent call-in contributor to Welcome to Night Vale. He owns a peach orchard which has never yielded any peaches. His specialty crop is imaginary corn (and Oranges as seen in episode Orange Grove for a time), for which he receives an annual subsidy of $500,000. He seems to have some connection to The House That Doesn't Exist. The connection is currently not known. 

The suffix "You know, the farmer" seems to be required when speaking of him, and nobody is really sure why. There is no evidence to why the suffix is in place, but a few times in Orange Grove, Cecil just calls him John Peters. Steve Carlsberg also uses the suffix, but Cecil replies, "Yes, I know" in a serious and slightly overdramatic tone as a wink to the audience as to allude to the comedic aspect of his acquired "title".

John Peters - you know, the farmer - is voiced by Mark Gagliardi - you know, the actor - known for Drunk History and The Thrilling Adventure Hour.

Appearances Edit

  • Episode 2 Glow Cloud: John was the first resident of Night Vale to spot the approaching Glow Cloud.
  • Episode 11 Wheat & Wheat By-Products: Cecil mentions that John Peters - you know, the farmer - is particularly upset about the City Council's plans to build a pulsar development facility and, more importantly, to increase taxes in order to pay for said pulsar development facility.
  • Episode 15 Street Cleaning Day: John Peters - you know, the farmer - calls in to report his discovery of an unspeakably old oak door standing out in the Scrublands. After describing and investigating the door, John vows to keep a sleepless vigil outside the door. He also reports that he is expecting a bumper crop of imaginary corn, which will soon be available for sale at the Night Vale Green Market Co-op.
  • Episode 30 Dana: Intern Dana reports from beyond the Old Oak Door that John Peters - you know, the farmer - has been standing inside the empty house staring at a picture of a window with a look of sadness—no, of concern on his face.
  • Episode 31 A Blinking Light up on the Mountain: Cecil reports that John Peters - you know, the farmer - has not been heard from in some time and requests that anyone who has seen him recently should call the Night Vale Community Radio Station.
  • Episode 32 Yellow Helicopters: Larry Leroy recounts a recent conversation with John.
  • Episode 35 Lazy Day: Flaky-Os announces a partnership with John.
  • Episode 38 Orange Grove, a duplicate of John Peters - you know, the farmer - arrives, debuting his new orange grove, the crop becoming quickly the sole produce available at the Ralphs, and causing the people who consume them to phase in and out of reality, ultimately out. The imposter eventually tries breaking into the studio and forcing Cecil to eat an orange, though Cecil then knocks out the imposter with his phone, leading to an encounter between the Sheriff's Secret Police and StrexCorp, with StrexCorp apparently taking the imposter. At the same time, Carlos and his team saw apparently the real John Peters - you know, the farmer - through a window, inside the house that doesn't exist, staring at a portrait the team couldn't get a glimpse of.
  • The Debate: John Peters - you know, the farmer - (or his duplicate) calls the radio station during the Debate to ask what the candidates are going to do about the Glow Cloud dropping dead animals all over town. He doesn't exactly get a reply, as the Glow Cloud proceeds to possess everyone.
  • Episode 44 Cookies: Dana tells Cecil that she's been visiting with John.
  • Episode 49 Old Oak Doors Part A, during the uprising against StrexCorp, John Peters - you know, the farmer - returns to Night Vale. He says Dana, Carlos, and Maureen helped him get back. He warns Cecil about the Smiling God.
  • Episode 64 WE MUST GIVE PRAISE: John calls Cecil to report that Frank Chen has apparently returned to town.
  • Episode 74 Civic Changes: John calls Cecil to give an update on the protesters outside the dog park, describing them as standing upright, growing out of the ground, with green leaves and brown tufts of hair, and birds flying in the sky above them. Cecil, rather annoyed, realizes John Peters - you know, the farmer - is actually standing in a cornfield.
  • Episode 86 Standing and Breathing: John has just received a birthday card from his older brother Jim, who left home forty years previously to fight in the Blood Space War.
  • Episode 103 Ash Beach: After meeting with mysterious beings at the beach, John is given a false memory of talking to his brother Jim and tossing a football with him.