Do Not Approach the Dog Park is a frequent segment of Cecil's radio show. Since the introduction of the dog park in Pilot, officials in town have made numerous follow-up reminders for citizens to avoid going near the park.
Developments in the Dog Park Edit
Pilot: The City Council first announces the opening of the infamous park. With this opening, they also release a statement telling citizens that dogs and people alike are not allowed in the park. Hooded Figures, which should also be avoided, are also rumored to lurk in the dog park.
The Drawbridge: At an impromptu press conference, Mayor Pamela Winchell announced there is, in fact, no staticky hum coming from the dog park. In fact, because citizens are not even supposed to be aware of the park's existence, "they could not possibly be receiving a menacing and unearthly voice instructing listeners to bring precious metals and toddlers to the dog park." 
- Today they scratched me from sleep, nails unhinged, carving my name in cement. Ash stains my pillow and bruises the shape of spiders climb my neck. Sunlight catches dust and broken glances between strangers dodging desert puddles of something metallic. I’m highly contagious, quarantined to another body I’ve since infected. I will sleep into you if you hold me too tightly. I assemble your letters, left torn in the pocket of a hospital gown. I stain the paper with sweat. I’m beginning to steal your voice. The voice that lies, dying in the dog park. 
Though he admits he enjoys "luxuriating in the language of a good poem," Cecil is quick to remind listeners that the dog park is forbidden. He advises listeners to disregard the poet's "radical lies." Later, the dog park's gates open for the first time, revealing among other things a black stone monolith which emits "a hum that makes everyone who hears it feel calm." Cecil sends intern Dana to the park to warn people to leave and return to safety. When it was revealed that an Angel had written the poem at the entrance to the park, however, the City Council went back on its very first warning about the park and openly welcomed citizens inside. Unfortunately the gates soon closed, trapping everyone inside including Dana (or her double).
The Mayor: After briefly going missing, Mayor Winchell was found outside of the dog park holding an impromptu press conference. The press was required to remain at least five hundred feet away from her. Dana, from inside the park, was close enough to hear her and texted Cecil the details. Winchell plans to step down from her position by the end of the year. It can be assumed that she intended this to be a secret, as she spoke with no microphone and only those near her could hear. Because nobody is supposed to be near the park or acknowledge it or the hooded figures that lurk there, it is lucky that the news made it out at all. Winchell followed up her announcement by lighting her podium on fire, kicking it over, and scaling the walls of the park.
Dana. Intern Dana escapes the dog park, and reveals that the dog park is much bigger than it looks.