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For the entity, see Pyramid (entity).
Weird at last! Weird at last! God Almighty, weird at last! Welcome to Night Vale.
— Cecil



"PYRAMID" is the 9th episode of Welcome to Night Vale. It was released on October 15, 2012.

Synopsis[]

A large, philosophical pyramid appears in town, announcing several messages, but is it what it seems? Plus, best practices for regular skin-checks, an update on the levitating cat, and whatever happened to that vile barber?

Plot Developments[]

Recurring Segments[]

A Word From Our Sponsors[]

And now, a word from our sponsor. Today's program is brought to you by Audible.com, your online source for recorded books.

There are thousands of great titles at Audible.com that you can download to your computer or portable device and listen to on the go. I use Audible to catch up on bestselling titles like The Help and  “VangoNotes for Technical Communication, 11/e”.

I'm on their website right now, and I'm typing in a search for Dog Park, because I was thinking about this town's beautiful new fixture and how I will never ever take my dog there. Let's see what Audible comes up with. Ah, it's a flashing black and red screen that says THOUGHT CRIME in all caps. And below that a little animation of two digging workers. "Under construction." That's adorable!

So check out audible.com. New audible members can get one free audio book just by smudging their computer monitors with baby's blood and humming the Spanish translation of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Audible.com: You can't burn what you can't even touch.

Community Health Tips (given as a PSA from the Night Vale Medical Community)[]

And now a public service announcement from the Night Vale Medical Community.

Being in the desert, we get a lot of sun, and doctors are encouraging Night Vale Citizens to do regular skin checks. You may think that freckle or mole is harmless, but you never know when it will grow into something much worse.

Surgeons at Night Vale General Hospital are noting an uptick in dermatological growths related to sun exposure. Doctors describe these growths as 15" spiralled horns. The horns mostly protrude from the lower back or knees. Unchecked, these horns can develop a glistening shine, small leather saddles, and bright red lips on the very tip.

So check your skin at least once a week in the mirror. Dermatologists recommend a three-step process:

1. Search meticulously for 15" horns protruding from your body. Don't overlook anything.

2. If you find any suspicious growths, mark them with a chalk pentagon.

3. Gently remove the affected skin area with a sterilized razor blade (or similarly clean crafting blade). If you are not one of the 53% of our community that was born without pain-sensing nerves, you should first consult your primary care electrolysist for tips on how to numb yourself to the nigh unbearable pain of existence.

Proverb

"Nice bolo tie" is the greatest compliment a person can ever receive.
— Proverb


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